It’s been a while

It’s been a while since I have written and boy have I missed it!

I know I am not a great writer with interesting views and a huge vocabulary. I’m just a regular girl with thoughts and feelings.

Since I last posted ALOT has happened. Some good and some not so good.

My dad was diagnosed with glioblastoma in late November of last year. He is currently being treated at MD Anderson in Houston.

His symptoms came on seemingly quick. Although, now he can pinpoint some changes in his personality that started last summer. They traveled some of the east coast and spent a few days in Key West. He found it hard to get excited about things, he says.

He can run circles around any of us. He wakes up and goes to sleep with projects on his mind and lists written out. He retired from the U.S. Border Patrol when he was 49 years old! He hasn’t stopped one day. He is an avid motorcyclist, hunter, and tinkerer. He loves a challenge. In fact, he saved our house after Hurricane Isaac. Literally saved our house. He headed the project with his best friend and my brother.

At 66 years old nothing could stop him. NOTHING! Who knows how long he has had brain cancer. We will never know for sure. We do know that when the symptoms became too much for him to hide he had stage 4 brain cancer, glioblastoma.

He has been receiving radiation and chemotherapy for about a month with little or no side effects. He had gained some strength back. He had gain mobility in his left side. His speech had improved. The doctors warned of side effects in the beginning. I heard horror stories.

By the grace of God my dad has had an appetite and a good amount of energy. He hasn’t had the stereotypical side effects. When he heard the diagnosis his only response was “let’s kick its ass.” His fight has not wavered.

We have felt very blessed by this and I have questioned the ability for the radiation and chemo to be effective if he isn’t feeling anything. Well, all of that changed early Tuesday morning. My step-mom woke to him having seizures. They are staying at the hotel connected to MD Anderson and she called 911.

He was entubated after not responding to medication. He was sedated and has been in ICU since. He has lost mobility of his left hand and left leg. His brain is swollen.

I pray. What else can be done? I pray for so many things, mainly complete healing.

I regret. We aren’t supposed to regret things. That is not the way we are supposed to live. Well, I regret.

I stay busy. Handsome hubby and 4 kiddos keep me pretty busy but I have found another outlet too. I make diffuser necklaces to be used with or without essential oils and I enjoy my time making them. Even when there is chaos all around me I find making them peaceful, healing and right.

I pray a lot when making my necklaces.

So many people around me are effected by cancer. I decided to make a cancer ribbon. I give all of the profits to MD Anderson. Sure they are funded by a huge university. What can my minuscule amount of money do for them? I’m donating the money in my dads name. Knowing my dads name will be among donators names while he is going through the fight of his life means so much. Every dollar counts.

Trying to do something positive in such a difficult time is hard but necessary.

I hope to write again soon. I hope to have a more thought out post. I hope you continue to read. I pray for your health and happiness!

Until next time!

You can visit my ebay store if you would like to check out my necklaces!

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Mommy Monday-

Good Monday!

When was the last time you told YOUR mom you loved her?

When was the last time your children told you they loved you?

I hope this question can quickly be answered. If not, stop reading and go call your mom and tell her that you love her NOW!

Life is so fragile. We are strong creatures. Created to endure so much physically and emotionally. Watching our kids run and play they almost seem indestructible. We, even adult children, often look at our parents this way until a sudden illness strikes leaving behind a worn aged body and you wondering where your parent went. To be honest we do this with most people in our lives. In essence we take them for granted.

I’m a sensitive soul. Sensitive to where I pretty much drive people around me crazy at times. A lot of conversations cannot be had without me crying. My step-mother used to say ” All you have to do is look at Cyndi wrong and she’ll cry.” My dad was undercover for many years worked high profile cases with the Border Patrol. We has security guards watching our house at times. I knew when he left there was a possibility he would not return. Life is fragile. My brother Taylor was born perfect! 6 weeks later he was comatose never to recover at all. Life is fragile. 9-11. Life is fragile. My newlywed husband was diagnosed with trigeminal neuralgia a.k.a. “The suicide disease” 4 months after we were married while I was pregnant with our son. Life is fragile. I almost died giving birth to our son. Life is fragile. I’ve lost 8 grandparents. Yes, 8. My parents divorced and remarried. My moms parents were divorced. Her dad remarried. I have 1 remaining grandmother. She is close to meeting our maker if she hasn’t already. Nothing more than a shell of a body is here on earth. Life is fragile. A friend of mine laid to rest her grandmother last week. Life is fragile. Her husband had a debilitating stoke a year ago. Life is fragile. My mother has had menengitis 3 times in 6 years. Life is fragile. My dad has had 3 silent heart attacks. Life is fragile. Handsome hubby suffered from sleep apnea so badly he was literally almost dying every night. Life. Is. Fragile.

I guess you get the point. Everyone can name their own list of reasons why life is fragile. I ask you to. Not to feel bad for yourself. But to not take others for granted.

Tomorrow is not promised. As the saying goes “that’s why today is called the present”.

Why am I writing about this on Mommy Monday? We as moms set the example in the household. Kids learn from example. Teach them to show gratitude and appreciation for others.

Sadly I kept my feelings cooped up until 9/11. I decided as a mom I owed it to the people that lost their lives and their surviving family and friends to do what most did not have the chance to do. I would honor them by telling each person in my life in 9/11 what they meant to me and why. It was an ice breaker for me. I did this for quite a few years. Then I married the man of my dreams. He taught me I can do that everyday. So I tell people all the time what they mean to me. Tomorrow might not come. My circle is small but ask anyone of them if they know how I feel and they will tell you. Life is too fragile not to.

My grandmother lays in a bed. She’s not expected to last much longer. I feel her spirit all around me. Smell her scent. Memories I have not had in years. She’s one that KNOWS my love for her. After reading PROOF OF HEAVEN by Eben Alexander. MD. I have to believe in my heart she is floating with the angels already. Alzheimer’s took her quite a few years ago. There were glimpses of her from time to time but now she is gone. Life is fragile. My dad told me today he didn’t think I had time to get there to see her before she passed. My response ” dad, every time I leave a loved one I love them like its the last time. I hug them, hold them, soak them in. I do this with you and Jan. I do this with the kids. That’s why there are always tears. I know how fragile life is. Nanny knows my heart. I’ve had moments with Nanny today that no one sitting next to her has had. I’ve had memories from so long ago. Ive smelled her scent. I know she loves me and she knows that I love her. You might think I’m crazy and that’s ok”.

I don’t remember his response.

Please take the time to tell those you care about that you care about them!

Terrific Tuesday

July 2, 2013

How blessed we are. My dad is here visiting as I’ve mentioned in previous posts. When two of the 4 kids were in Texas I had to make a few adjustments to the “Let’s Earn Tv time, y’all” chart. After dinner one night after they came home (yay!) I went over the changes. My dad’s comment was “damn, Cynthia (I prefer cyndi) you must have a lot of time on your hands. That’s pretty genius”. I quickly responded with “actually I had none and necessity is the root of all invention. Thank you, it is genius, if I do so so myself.” I’ll post the new chart later today hopefully but today is finally a boat day! We have worked our tushies off during his visit and the weather doesn’t look that great for the next few days. We talked my father into a day off under that guise.

I still need to write about sibling day as well.

I need to post a fantastic crawfish pie recipe that I made last night– yummy!

I’ll post pics of us on the boat later as well.

I wish everyone a TERRIFIC TUESDAY!

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Ready for a day of fun in the sun!

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Their smiling faces never get old! Love to watch them tube!

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We were blessed with a perfect day on the water!

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Handsome hubby and WL- love!

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Pooped……