Jesus take the wheel

I’ve been blessed today to be able to accompany my son to his Jr. Beta convention.

Watching the talent segment a young lady began to sing “Jesus Take The Wheel” by Carrie Underwood.

My son knows me well. He knew I would be in tears. He was sitting with his friends and looked up at me with deep concern in his gray eyes. I nodded and took a deep breath. Praying to hold it together in the gym full of BETA members and chaperones.

The lyrics touched me……
Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can’t do this on my own
I’m letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I’m on
Jesus take the wheel

The song was over. I took a deep breathe. I smelled thieves and Joy essential oils from my diffuser necklace.

Next, 2 young ladies walked up. The music started and within 2 notes my son looked up at me once again. This time he said, “Mom, don’t do it.” He KNEW I was about to lose it. One of the girls began “I heard there was a secret chord- that David played and it pleased the Lord…”

Oh no….hold it together, take a deep breathe., get out of here, don’t listen, look at facebook. Do SOMETHING! Anything to keep from losing it.- went through my head all at once.

On a good day I can’t listen to “Hallelujah” without crying. I can’t listen to kids sing without crying and I certainly cannot when I’m on the brink of tears every second of every day since my dads diagnosis.

I picked up my diffuser necklace and inhaled deeply and tears ran down my face. No one paid attention.

Next up, group talent. A group of three walked up and the young MC announced they were dancing to “Bulletproof” in honor of those effected by cancer.

What the —–? What is this? Why?!!!!!

I wanted a day with my son, to forget about life’s troubles. I wanted to enjoy him and his innocence and sweetness.

“Jesus take the wheel”, I said inside my head.

We got through the day. We had a blast. Pushing through the emotions to make it about what it was supposed to be. A mom and son day. That is exactly what it was and I will never forget it. I even embarrassed him by dancing to the “Cupid Shuffle” with his friends.

When you are dealing with a loved one diagnosed with stage 4 cancer it/ they NEVER leave your mind. (Atleast that is the case for me.) It’s almost like when you have kids and they never leave your mind. Everything reminds you of them.

I see gray- brain cancer comes to mind. I see a man with white hair- I think of my dad. A motorcycle drives by- my dad. My youngest wants to play with his tool set- my dad. Bud light- my dad. My house- my dad. One of the kids needs something and it’s not the best time for me- I think – if I could only have a few minutes with my dad. I give them a few more hugs and a few more kisses, always remembering what is most important. Our connection. Our love.

Today my phone rang. The name on the screen read “DAD”! I was so excited to answer the phone. My dad was calling me. Sitting in his hospital room and he thought to call me! I used to talk to him every day. I shared everything with him. We talked about everything. He would give me his opinion. He would show support. We shared so much of our lives. If something happened good or bad he was the person I talked to after my husband. That came to a screeching halt and I miss it more than imaginable.

I knew he would not sound great. I imagined he would sound tired and his speech would be weak again. When I heard his voice I had to fight back the tears. Hearing his voice was awesome. He is alive and we are talking! Hallelujah! He sounded weak, slurred. Heavy tongued is how I describe it. He was worse than at Christmas time. He asked if I knew about his seizures. We talked about his muscle strength. He said he loved me and wanted to talk to Handsome Hubby.

I hung up the phone In tears and have not recuperated.

A few days ago a friend told me she hoped I had someone to lean on right now. Someone to vent to. I simply replied “Thank you.” What else could I say?

I have my husband who is almost as emotionally vested in this as I am. My other ROCK is lying in his hospital room and needs me to be his rock.

JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL!

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For the love of family

In March of this year I was blessed to chat with one of my best friends best friends. We had never met because they live in California.

Our mutual friend had passed away months earlier. We were both devastated. We connected with each other on Facebook. For me it was me still hanging on to my friend. I wanted to soak up anyone and anything to do with her.

My new friend is a business woman. She is a go-getter. She is highly ranked in a fabulous business in which I was wanting to be a part of. I was teetering between 2.

For several months I prayed about which business to join. I needed to find my passion. As I prayed and if I allowed my mind to quiet I would see images pushing me one direction.

I love both of these products…. I loved the security of knowing if I joined one company I would have a connection with my friend.

But as I prayed I saw images. I saw images of my brother who was handicapped. I saw images of my family. I saw images of helping others. Within these images I felt comfort. I knew God was leading me to my answer but I Kept wanting to be led the other direction, too. In my daily life I saw with open eyes what I needed to do. The effects of the products God was leading me to were benefiting my family every day.

I made my decision and joined an awesome team! My goals are large! My faith is larger! God led me here to where I am. My faith will help me to attain these goals.

These goals encompass the development of two separate foundations created to help children and their families. One foundation will help families hold everything together when they are struggling with health issues with a child. I pray I can send someone in to their home to keep things running while a family is split because one parent has to be away with a child in the hospital while the other stays home trying their darnedest to hold it all together. They will cook, clean, chauffeur etc for
free to the family. My mother needed this.

The foundation will cover many other services to the level each individual wants or needs.

The second will be to offer the use of essential oils to children in pain and their families. My brother was only able to have local anesthesia for every procedure he ever had. He lived in pain. When he passed away my mother was given the gift from God of seeing him float out of his human body with a smile on his face. There was no pain. Pure peace. I cannot
Imagine the pain he lived in and could not express. Parents need the comfort of oils as well. The trauma, sadness and stress of not knowing if your child will be ok. Not knowing if you can trust the doctors. Not knowing if your protocol is right. Living in a hospital to care for your child. Financial burdens. Relationship problems from being apart. The list goes on and on.

There really is an oil for everything. My thought is why not try? What do I have to lose? More importantly— what do I have to gain?

If you find yourself thinking someone is merely trying to make a buck off of
Facebook post after Facebook post please allow yourself to think of this blog and know that there is something deeper than their pockets. Something besides money motivates them.

God bless!

Being Brave Anonymously

My sister in law asked me in December to write a piece for her new blog Live Braver.

She asked me to write about my weight loss journey, how I have inspired others and about my success despite the obstacles I have been presented with.

To be honest I have sat down many times to write about my weight loss. I can’t. My weight loss did not require bravery. It required discipline.

I have gone through difficult, horrible times in my life that did require bravery but writing about them puts my family in an awkward position.
For that reason I will not write about those things.

I would like to post something anonymously but something tells me that isn’t too brave. Hiding behind words on a computer screen while telling someone they too can overcome horrible situations isn’t brave, is it? Putting a name to a story shouldn’t matter. The story is what matters, right?

I cannot be SAD

Try as I might I cannot be sad. You read correctly. I cannot be sad.

For years of my life I’ve been sad. Even when I have been happy, I’ve been sad. Some of us live happy with moments of sadness. I lived sad with moments of happiness.

I’ve sat here for the past week attempting to write. Four drafts await completion as I type this. They will not be completed.

I should have known what was going on when I decided to create a Happy page on Facebook. Me? HAPPY? Creating it as a “challenge” I told myself I was trying to grow, not be negative, bring positivity to my life. Little did I know, I already had!

Blogging is cheaper than therapy and cheaper than my degree in Psychology.

Writing this past year has helped me heal. I’m not a quitter but I think I’ll give up trying to be sad!

How many inches did she lose?

Well, let’s do a recap of last weeks loss.

Monday- 151
Tuesday- 149.6
Wednesday – 146
Thursday – 142.4
Friday- 143.4
Saturday – out of town
Sunday- out of town
Monday- out of town
Tuesday- 149.6

Wow! Back to square one! I did cheat while gone although I didn’t plan on it. I brought plenty of food to keep me from cheating to our farm house. Somehow I found a way. Tamales, little kit kats, Reece’s peanut butter cups, and biscuits were my downfall.

But the beauty of Metabolism Miracle happens when you measure yourself. All was not lost- or should I say some was lost?—-after all.

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As you can see there was a 4.5 inch loss. I’ll take that any day!!!!!

Believe me part of me wanted more off my hips and waist but losing almost half of my inches gained in a week is something to be excited about.

Please share your success stories. Sometimes success is measured by not cheating when it would have been so easy or making a better choice when it would have been easier not to. Sometimes it is maintaining during a difficult week. Sometimes successes are huge weight losses or major measurement losses. Sometimes it’s getting out of bed!!!

We are a forum here to cheer one another on. I encourage you to share you stories. THEY WILL ENCOURAGE ALL OF US!

Would you be your friend?

Hey, y’all !

I have a simple question that truly requires a simple answer.

Are you or would you be your friend?

Some of us have thought about this before and others have not.
The ones that have not thought of this probably come with the hard shell that also doesn’t care what others think of them as well. Some could call them shallow, maybe egotistical. Others would say secure in who they are. Whatever the case may be, either you have given this thought or you haven’t. I say your life’s circumstances probably have not led you to ask this question if you haven’t. No matter what your core beliefs are at one time or another we question them. Well, I guess, I hope we all do, as that is a sign of growth.

A few days ago I wrote about perspective. My kids always put things into perspective for me. Simple pleasures put things into perspective. Enjoying traditions, for example. Getting hot water again after not having it since Thanksgiving ( as happened for us a week or so ago) puts things into perspective. Losing it soon after ( within an hour) REALLY put things into perspective. Waiting another week to figure out what the issue was, boiling pots and pots of water, me taking wipey baths and using (form the first time) dry shampoo puts our first world essentials into perspective.

Hot water seemed like nothing when both of my sons got sick. They had a 102-103 fever and the only other symptom was a headache. My brother at 6 weeks contracted encephalitis. Fever was his only symptom. My mom has had meningitis 3 times over the past 7 years. The 3 times occurred within 4 years. Needless to say, I do not like fevers, especially accompanied by a headache……perspective.

My oldest started with his first. He got better within 3 days. The youngest started as the oldest got better. He still has a low grade fever but seems to be doing well…..when your child is sick other things don’t matter. Your life shifts to caring for them. Your perspective on things is altered.

So to get back to my original question. As you see yourself, from your own perspective of you, would you be your own friend? If you met you would you like who you are?

I’ve asked myself this question, obviously. Looking at every nook and cranny of my being, soul searching, is time consuming as well as necessary. I have strained relations with most of my family ( there I said it…..that’s hard to admit) which has prompted my soul searching in my personal life. I could get angry and retaliate or I could become introspective. A few years ago, I would have beyond a shadow of a doubt retaliated. Not now. Why? Perspective. Believe me, I had some soul searching to do, I still want to defend myself and as much of a people pleaser I am I just want them to like me. But then I realized they never did. There is a phrase “it’s not about you”. I’ve realized their issues with me are not about me. Their issues are with them. There is nothing I can say to them to change that. Their perspective of life through their thought processes and circumstances has dictated to them the negative thoughts towards me. Unfortunately their perspective of the world is so tarnished that these people expect the worst out of people. Maybe they conduct their life the way they described what I supposedly did. Who knows? My perspective has not changed. Jesus has forgiven me more times than I can count and will continue to. Who am I not to do the same. I will continue to live my life as I do. Live for my husband and kids. The perspective of someone who has lost much and knows how fragile life is, knows how deep someone can physically and mentally hurt and knows the power of The Lord is priceless.

Would I be my own friend? For sure. Do I like myself? Absolutely.

How about you?

13 Ways To Fix Not Being Mentally Strong

Hi y’all!

It seems I’ve been a little out of sorts lately. Maybe you’ve noticed by the decline in my posts. Maybe not.

A friend of mine posted an article on Facebook “13 Things Mentally Strong People Do”.

They say opinions are like ——-, everyone has one. We also view strength by our life experiences. I’ve always felt like a survivor. I’ve NEVER felt weak, until I read this article. I do not think that was the authors intent. However, that’s how I felt. Was that weakness? According to her it is.

Strength and weakness are relative. Psych 101. Everything is relative. Some might view her article as cold, harsh and removed. Others that can relate, possibly felt empowered by it.

Needless to say, me, although I felt weakened by some of the 13 things chose to print them out and work on them. I could only feel weakened by them if I didn’t feel I possess them right?
Not necessarily. It’s just my view of mental strength was based on my life which has been good old fashioned fight or flight.

Don’t get me wrong, a lot of the “things” I do. But some I don’t. Some I’m learning and some I never looked at as a strength or a weakness. What I would have liked is for the author to help the not so strong by giving pointers on how not to continue doing what they are.

We have to love this new age of internet blogging. Sharing our views with someone next door or around the world is possible. If we are open to looking at things in a different light we have a lot to learn and our personal growth will be exponential. We are blessed to have this gift.

You can read the article here. It’s also linked above.

Here’s my take:
1: They don’t waste time feeling sorry form themselves- How to fix : make a plan to change your circumstances. Dream of what you want, where you want to be, how you want people to treat you. Imagine that is exactly as it is. When it isn’t that way. Imagine it to be anyway, one day it will be.

2. They don’t give away their power- How to fix: DO NOT take anything personally. People treat you based on the way the feel about their self, not you. You cannot take anything personally.

3. They don’t shy away from change- How to fix : think of all the changes you have gone through. There are more than you know. Also make a pros and cons list. If that still doesn’t work you pretend the change is temporary. Eventually you will get through it. Then challenge yourself to do new things every week or month.

4. They don’t waste energy on things they can’t control- How to fix: when something happens automatically think “will this matter in a year?” Realize that sometimes misfortunes happen for a reason. Nothing happens by chance. Embrace the situation. Ask what lesson you need to learn. Who are you there to
meet. These are divine interventions, to me.

5. They don’t worry about pleasing everyone- How to fix: uh, need help here!

6. They don’t fear taking calculated risks- How to fix: again make a pros and cons list, talk to people, get advice and do research.

7. The don’t dwell on the past- How to fix: Take a few moments or more. Whatever you need to visit the old you that goes to the past. Tell that person, because you are not the same, to stay where they are, that you are great where you are now. You are full of experience because of them and don’t need them any longer. Do this as often as you need to until you stop. It might sound hokey but it works.

8. They don’t make the same mistakes over and over- How to Fix: Sometimes we
make the same mistakes in different ways. If you are doing this you need a trustworthy friend or relative to help you figure out why you keep dating the same
type of person and help you not, for example. Or maybe you spend too much money? Come up with a plan to have bills automatically paid on payday and the rest going to saving. Only leaving enough for incidentals. I don’t know really. You have to do what works for you but stops the cycle too!

10. They don’t give up after their first failure- How to Fix: we wouldn’t have any modern conveniences without failure. Ask any successful person about failure. They all have. Figure out what mistakes were made and don’t do it again. You’ve made mistakes. Learning to walk, talk, write and on and on.

11. They don’t fear alone time – How to
Fix: if this is a problem for you. Start slowly by going to one place alone. Get a coffee alone for example. Expand to the movies alone. This is very good for the soul. Opens doors to meeting others as well.

12. They don’t feel the world owes them
anything- How to fix: unfortunately this society has become full of entitled
people. It might sound silly but a simple way to take this away is to take away your everyday conveniences or not live as large. It’s amazing what packing up
most of your home and living only on BARE necessities will teach you. Experience talking here!

13. They don’t expect immediate results- How to fix: this kinda goes with entitlement. “I want it now!” If you want something wait a week. If you still want it and can afford it, get it. Or pretend order things online. One thing I personally do is write my weight 5 pounds more in my weight charts to constantly strive for more. Patience is a virtue very few have.

What do you think? What are your suggestions? What would you add or take away?

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day!!!!

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