When you look in the mirror do you see “you”?

I’m not talking about the “you” others see. I’m talking about do you look at yourself openly and honestly for who you really are?

Most of us don’t. Most of us will never think to, care to and are even questioning the need to as they read this.

When my 2 oldest were growing up I had a video camera around constantly. I wanted to catch every moment on film. When my daughter was 5 and my son was 3 I decided when they did something unacceptable I would ask them to rewind and do it over. This helped
for many circumstances. Talking back, not using manners, being mean to their brother or sister, not sharing, etc. I would say STOP, REWIND ( we would literally act like we were rewinding with sound and movement), I would tell them what they did wrong and why, ask how they were going to redo it, if they couldn’t answer I would assist. Once we decided what needed to be done I would say PLAY and we would continue our day.

Yes it was time consuming. But it was helpful.

Sometimes I would walk in a room in the middle of an argument or something. I would rush to get my recorder. Record them in action because believe me they would go at it! I would record about 10 seconds and play it back for them. They could SEE their self! They did not like this. The first time I did it they were shocked! The video acted as a training tool. We would act the situation out again in a more appropriate way.

As they have gotten older this method has stopped. I have caught myself saying STOP, REWIND. I have not videoed them as teenagers fighting. It is not a daily focus as it once was.

What if adults had STOP buttons?Wouldn’t that be nice? What if we had a video playback of our life?

In my mind we do. Sometimes we are more aware of it than others. It’s called a conscience.

When I first started dating handsome hubby he would ask serious questions, very personal questions. I answered each truthfully. Some he didn’t believe me. Now remember I’m talking to a polygraphist. Lie detector. He could hook me up to the instrument at any time. He didn’t and hasn’t. That’s another story.

You might call this simple minded Handsome hubby said it was a few weeks ago forgetting I said it years before, after polygraphing a man. The man was accused of indecency with his daughter. He is somewhat handicapped. When Handsome Hubby asked him in the preliminary testing procedures why he did not do it (he claimed innocence) the man said first because I am not that type of sick person and I live my life a perfect as I can because I don’t want to disappoint those that mean the most to me. Handsome Hubby said in his investigator, detective, tone “Sir, no one would have known. Your daughter is 2.” The man said “No sir, God Almighty, and my grandma and grandpa would know. Handsome hubby questioned how…..They are in heaven watching down on me every day, the man said.

Almost the same words I used years before but coming from a man accused of a heinous crime they seemed simple. He passed the test beyond a shadow of a doubt. The normal method is to answer the questions 3 times. He answered them
5 and other tactics were used to ensure he understood what was happening. My husband gets as much satisfaction from clearing a guy as he gets from convicting. He would not rest well at night if he was not
effective. I mean if a innocent person was in prison because of him or a guilty man walked the street.

We all have a conscience. I believe that our life’s circumstances and our faith are major players in forming our conscience. I had not done the things Handsome hubby asked because God and my relatives in heaven are watching down on me. At that time I had 2 sparks in my left eye. ( I wrote about the sparks of light in a recent post)

Call it my conscience, maybe. Maybe that’s what our conscience is? I know I’ve done things God would not be proud of. I know I’ve sinned. However, when I look in the mirror I see me as me, the good, the bad and the ugly. There is no fooling me. Sometimes I don’t like what I see. Sometimes I’m proud.

I STOP myself sometimes. Others I’m not so good. Unfortunately, I’m human!

What are your thoughts?

Please know I write this as I play with my son. I’m afraid the continuity will not be there. I hope you get the overall jist is what I’m saying.

I feel it is important for to bring attention to how easy it is for us to change who we are in the blink of an eye in this technology age and keep up with the Jones’ age, or whatever the case may be. Staying true to who we are is important. Some will like you. Some won’t. As long as you like you and know you are doing right that’s all that matters.

Still worried I’m not getting my point across……..


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