Trust is Given Not Earned

Happy Terrific Tuesday!


Regardless of what the picture above says. TRUST IS GIVEN NEVER EARNED. IT’S NOT POSSIBLE TO
EARN IT. We must give it. Think of a situation when someone can actually earn it. We are humans. People let us down daily. We make the choice to trust.

In every relationship there are ups and downs, highs and lows. How we handle ourselves during these times defines the true nature of your feelings for the relationship, shows your respect for the relationship as well as gives the relationship a chance to grow stronger or fall apart. This is true in all relationships- co-worker, friendship, parent-child, husband-wife, sibling, etc.

A major thorn in most relationships sides is trust. Will my co-worker “have my back” or “throw me under the bus” just to get ahead? Is one friend talking about me to another friend? I caught my daughter lying about something, what else is she lying about? My wife didn’t tell me she bought this, what else is she hiding? My husband has is deleting his text messages from his ex-wife— why? Are just mere examples. The possibilities are endless for lack of trust in a relationship. Past mistakes, current mistakes, unresolved issues from prior relationships, your own guilt…..


Yesterday I received a phone call from a gentleman. I’ll call him Dan. I usually don’t receive business phone calls unless handsome hubby is unable to answer his phone. After hearing handsome hubby on the phone a few times and being quizzed by him I was given the go ahead to receive calls. Handsome hubby’s reputation is on the line! So far I’ve done well, thank goodness! So yesterday Dan called my number. He said he had questions about the polygraph process. I proceeded with the “pitch”. I won’t bore you with it. Although it is quite interesting!

Dan cut me off half way through. He explained his girlfriend was give a test a while back and he didn’t trust it. I didn’t know he meant Overton Polygraph tested him. I thought he was calling another polygraphist to get further information about the validity of polygraph tests. I informed Dan that I didn’t know what company his girlfriend used but if they are state licensed and not it was a polygraph not a voice stress analyzer then he needed to believe the results of the tests. He asked if test results could be changed if emailed. I explained a few things about that. Mostly, a individual that doesn’t word polygraph reports would not know how to accurately change everything. They could change one section but not know to change another to make it consistent. The wording is different. The average person would not know how to do this. I suggested he call the original polygraphist for the answer but he would have to get his girlfriends permission for him/her to release any information because everything is confidential like a doctor or attorney.
Dan,then informed me that Overton Polygraph did the polygraph. In fact, I sent the email. Immediately I remembered who it was. Rarely is there someone so insistent to have a polygraph taken as this poor girl was. Handsome hubby did not have time to do the report immediately. He told her I could with her permission. She gave it. She NEEDED the report to be emailed,not mailed, ASAP! We did that for her.

I said you’re Samantha’s boyfriend. He stayed quiet, finally replying “yes”. Almost defeated. He proceeded to hound me with questions. Why did she admit to doing things she didn’t do and later tell me she didn’t do them? I answered this one easily. Explaining it like police with suspects in interrogation. They hound and hound until they finally get the response they want. I asked him if he told her,
if she just admitted whatever he was accusing her of they could move on? He said “yes”. I asked if he moved on? He said “no”. He “what if’d” me for about 5 more questions. I had responses for each one that made him more and more at ease with the polygraph process.

Finally, as I had to bring the conversation to a close I told him 2 important things. 1— all things done in darkness, eventually come to light. 2—-trust is given, not earned.

I then told a quick story of Handsome hubby’s polygraph from Friday night. First, I was so grateful for it. It was the first in over a month! I don’t know the specifics. I can’t. All I know is that he stayed for an hour after the test counseling the couple. Explaining this to Dan helped him. He understood my husbands ethics and morales even more so. I asked him to find peace within. I asked him to look within himself to find why he keeps accusing Samantha of horrible things. I asked him to stop pushing her down but to lift her up because she obviously loves him to stay with him given the accusations and they are dating. If they were married I could understand her trying to work it out even more so. But dating? She must really care for him or think she deserves the abuse ( that’s a whole other blog) He thanked me for our conversation. He went as far as to say I changed his life and would make changes and he felt very bad for what he has done to her and would do all he could to make it up to her. More was said but that’s the synopsis.

When I told Handsome Hubby about the conversation. His only words were “He’s married”.

So there you have it. His own guilt was
projecting into his girlfriend. I can only imagine what his wife deals with. I pray for him. Pray for him to get his life straight.

Trust is a tricky. I’ve heard it described to be like a mirror. Once broken you can never look at it the same.

I, myself, chose to trust. I’m thankful I didn’t know Dan was married. Our conversation would have been much different. I wouldn’t have spoken the word of The Lord to him. I wouldn’t have shared my story. When he said I changed his life I took it for what it
meant. Knowing he’s married, now I’m not sure. But I CHOSE TO TRUST!



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