So… do you have some things, or circumstances, or people in your life that you wish were not there or things would be different. Maybe you dislike these people, things or circumstances, but they are not going anywhere. You are as I like to put it ” in a pickle”.
On one hand, you know you create your own reality, and your very dislike of anything creates more things to dislike. On the other hand you can’t just hide your head in the sand, think happy thoughts and ignore an ongoing problem, expecting it to just disappear…or can you?
Today I want to write about how to change what you don’t like in your life. This CAN be done without giving it more energy by focusing on it. You also don’t have to pretend its not happening and have nothing to change.
An important part of this process is to remind you everything is changeable.
Recognizing what needs to change is the only way you can change your reality. I don’t mean recognize by complaining about it. Complaining will only keep you in a negativity spiral! I mean take your power back and do something about it.
Click here to go to Live a life you love’ site
This information was taken directly from there. But there is so much more!
So…how DO you change what you dislike? Here are some steps you can take which will change your world, if you really want it to change:
1. Let it (all) out.
If something isn’t going well, or someone has betrayed, disappointed or hurt you, give yourself some time to really let in, and then express, how it makes you feel. Actually feel the anger, hurt, sadness, rage, etc. Pound some pillows, write a letter (don’t mail it), or imagine an encounter in which you tell another exactly how you feel.
WARNING – do not skip this step! If you skip releasing your constricting emotions you will not be clear enough to complete the rest of the steps at the depth with which they need to be completed.
2. Discover why you are creating it.
Things don’t just happen—to anyone. If there is something in your life you do not like, it is because you put it there—consciously or not. Why would someone create something negative in their life?
Very likely deep-seated beliefs create your reality What might they be? They might be one or several of these (or a thousand more I haven’t listed):
I don’t deserve to have a wonderful, loving and committed relationship.
I am not worthy of having a man make a deep and loving commitment to me.
I am not worthy of being loved.
I do not make good choices in relationships.
I must hold onto what I have because I may not find anything better.
Relationships are hard.
I’m not a good role model.
Atleast my kids are better than I was at their age.
Men and their needs are more important than women and theirs.
People keep secrets from me.
People are not trustworthy.
I don’t deserve to be happy.
Your sabotaging beliefs need to be discovered and changed. I know it does not seem possible to change a belief—because beliefs, by their very nature, just seem like “just the way it is”. But you can change beliefs. And believe me, it will change your world.
3. Ask “who else” is creating it?
There are other aspects of each of us who are not as advanced, emotionally, and oftentimes they are having significant impact on our creations. These are your child self, your adolescent self, and your young adult self.
If these selves have a negative view of men, women, relationships or the world, they will keep a pattern in place indefinitely…until you (the adult, conscious self) change it. How do you change it?
You go back and talk to each of them. In a visualization, imagine yourself in the place and time they lived. Find them in the house they lived in and tell them about your struggle (in this case, with relationships). They will tell you what they think, fear, hate, love…and these thoughts, feelings and underlying beliefs are creating your world.
Make note of the beliefs, give these younger selves happy, wonderful relationships and rich, beautiful lives, and then change the beliefs you just discovered!
4. Set your boundaries.
It is self-loving to have boundaries. You will find as you grow and change, your boundaries will change. At certain stages of life, strict boundaries are necessary to protect yourself, to love yourself and to develop healthy relationships. At later stages, few boundaries are necessary—because you will be creating such a loving world, few are needed.
But at every stage one must decide what it is you can, and can’t, live with.
5. Determine what you do want and flow energy to that desire.
When things happen in our lives we dislike, we tend to be reactive instead of proactive. We fight the reality instead of moving into a space of creating a new reality. But that won’t change anything. The only thing that will change a reality is putting out new energy that is in alignment with what you want.
So even though you may be deciding what to do about the reality you are in, you still need to be clear about the reality you want to live. Set your intentions. And begin to imagine yourself with your dreams coming true.
6. Take (appropriate and inspired) action.
Once you have changed the beliefs, and become clear on what you do want, this step becomes easy.
7. Watch your world respond.
Your world will change, with this work. Be aware of the little “signs” around you that are signifying you are headed in the right direction.
And remember you cannot control whether another in your life will choose the reality you want. Yes, sometimes the changes do result in the end of a relationship, a job or a living situation.
You won’t know how it will turn out. And you may feel that making strong choices for your own life will hurt another. But trust every time you choose more joy, freedom, love and expansion, ultimately you are making a positive impact on all the lives of those around you.
You can’t really love what you dislike. You can only change what you dislike into a reality you love.
Some would say it’s not easy to change what you do not like (and sometimes it isn’t)—but it is your choice. You can always stay right where you are, for days, weeks, years or even lifetimes.